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Introduction

Have you ever wondered why you feel different when attracted to someone? How your fingers tingle from a slight brush? Or how you feel a sense of calm and security surrounded by the people you love and trust? It turns out that chemistry can explain a lot of these experiences. The emotions we feel when we fall in love, develop attachments, build relationships, and even break up are all linked to brain chemistry.

Where does the feeling of attraction come from?

According to researchers, the human need for love was a fundamental resource for survival because it helped to form strong emotional bonds. This increased the chances of:

• Protection: Pairs or groups could defend each other from threats.
• Resource sharing: Food, shelter, and tools were more reliable when shared.
• Child survival: Human infants are helpless; two bonded caregivers improved survival rates.

In this sense, love acted as an evolutionary glue that helped early Homo sapiens thrive.

Today, our understanding of love has expanded: from the spark of attraction to the hormones that shape our emotions. Let’s break down the chemistry behind it.

The Hormones Involved

Hormones are chemical messengers in the body. Among the over 50 hormones we produce, scientists have identified three key brain-linked chemicals involved in the feeling of attraction: dopamine, oxytocin, and serotonin. The release of these hormones is triggered by sensory cues such as sight, voice, touch and scent, creating the spark we interpret as attraction.

Dopamine is often referred to as the ‘love hormone’ and is closely linked to the brain’s reward system. Heightened dopamine induces intense feelings of pleasure, euphoria and energy. This chemical, produced in the hypothalamus, is largely responsible for feelings of giddiness and sleepless nights when experiencing the thrill of love.

Oxytocin is often referred to as the ‘cuddle hormone’ and is released during moments of physical contact, intimacy or closeness with someone we care about: it helps us form bonds and trust each other more deeply. Oxytocin mainly acts within the brain, and the release of oxytocin triggers the release of serotonin and dopamine, leading to further physical contact and even more intense feelings of connection. The combination of these neurochemicals leads to a more stable mood, creating a lasting feeling of happiness and contentment.

Serotonin plays a crucial role in the chemistry of love, as it is largely associated with regulating mood and emotional responses. Low levels of serotonin are strongly linked to obsessiveness and anxiety in relationships. Studies suggest that this can explain repetitive thoughts and infatuation commonly seen in early stages of relationships. On the other hand, higher levels bring security and contentment, explaining the deep connection between two individuals in a relationship.

Romantic vs Non-romantic Love

While the hormones explained above are mainly involved in romantic love, studies suggest that different chemical messengers are involved in familial and platonic love.

Endorphins (endogenous opioids) are primarily involved in non-romantic bonds. They create feelings of comfort, safety, and warmth during social connection. Studies suggest that these opioids are essential for parental attachment and familial bonds.

The feeling of a strong sense of love for community and humanity is mainly linked to oxytocin. It triggers the release of other neurotransmitters when experiencing positive emotions in deep friendships and connections. The combination of oxytocin with other hormones creates feelings of happiness and belonging. In addition, lower cortisol (stress hormone) levels and increased endorphins create a sense of long-term attachment.

Ultimately, the chemistry of love varies with the type of connection, but each bond relies on its own unique blend of neurochemicals.

Love is More than an Emotion

It turns out that the feeling of being in love has a strong biochemical basis. All these ‘love hormones’ work together to give us the ability to fall in love and create the complex emotion we recognise as love. We subconsciously know this too - it even explains why we use the phrase ‘having chemistry’ with someone.

So, if there is one thing you learn from this article, know that behind every heartbeat-skipping crush is a very busy brain!

Happy Valentine’s Day!